Dear John

Turns out I'm one distraction she didn't need in her ruthless pursuit of the future. I'm surprised that I'm surprised and angry that I'm angry. I'm not angry at her - frustrated, certainly - but I'm keeping with my moronic and idiotic tradition and blaming myself. Very Heathcliff.

I don't buy the 'I'm too busy for anything or one new' routine. Would have preferred the 'not attracted' or 'attracted to somebody else' stance. Honesty is brutal but better in the long run.

Of course, I never want to hear about this again. It will be pressed and repressed into a small ball which I will swallow and ignore until I'm middle aged with a middle-aged paunch, comb-over, lipstick and a sawn-off shotgun. And alcohol is definitely a no go for a while.

Probably the best news my thesis has ever had.