On my existence.

We are gather here today, dear friends, to once again beat the *$&# out of that *^$#@$ organisation known as Studylink/WINZ/Evil corporate state machine from hell. I was checking my balance online to ensure that I could pay a Visa bill when I noticed a distinct lack of income. It seems that Studylink has deemed that I do not exist. Understandably confused and mildly alarmed by the potential catastrophic consequences of my failure to exist (how could I get any?) I rang the bastards in an attempt to clarify my existence. They were rather surprised to discover that I did exist. This was no great surprise. I remember a few years ago when they were surprised that I did not have a small 50 year old Chinese wife. Hmmm. After a few frantic minutes on hold listening to Dragon and Dave Dobbyn I resolved a problematic philosophical problem.

I think, therefore I am.

More importantly, the fact that my existence was denied by the evil monolith that is Studylink implies that there is no God. A good God would not have allowed Steve Maharey or Trevor Mallard to come within a very long ladder of Studylink or my existence. God cannot therefore exist, or is a cynical old man reminiscent of Rob Muldoon.

To recap: I think, therefore I am. Studylink exists therefore God does not.

Take that, Descartes.

In a surprising move, however, the issue was resolved over the phone and I am pleased to announce that I do exist again. Phew. $450 in back loan is coming my way. Woo yeah baby. I want to cry.

And it looks like Kerry is going to win. I'm rooting for Edwards. It is a sad state of affairs when Nic and I both think Edwards should win because he's prettier and therefore more likely to win.

Begone.