By Crikey

I journeyed to the heart of Timaru this week, brave and intrepid sod that I am. My cousin was getting married, and no - although it was Timaru he was not getting married to another cousin. That didn't stop us from celebrating, of course. Some of us celebrated more than others, and somehow a group of us managed to find ourselves stumbling through the streets of Timaru in search of a feed on Friday night. Most put out to find that Macca's and KFC were closed at 1am. Instead had a fantastic feed in a Turkish Kebab house on the main street while the boy racing bogans were racing past. Surreal.

The wedding was fantastic and we all had a good time. Bride was stunning, Groom kept grinning, and the best man did not forget the rings. Greg, my brother, even exclaimed that after seeing the ceremony he could even commit to a relationship.

Among the rallies present was my great Aunt. She was having the time of her life enquiring after our sex lives. She was most upset to discover that not only was mine non-existent, but that I didn't know the name of the mysterious and enigmatic Mysterious Girl. My sex life is now being criticised by an 80 year old. I have to try harder. Then she started telling me how back in her day she could have any man she wanted, because where-ever she was there were 5 men to every woman. Llorna also told Greg that she expected him to have a girl in every port. She clearly comes from a more romantic age.

Then back to Christchurch with all teeth still in mouth and a party was to be had at Adam and Heidi's. Top effort all round, particularly by Ben who managed to keep up his record of removing anything he does not define as being essential to the structure of the house. This consisted of the garage, conservatory, a quantity of beer, and several guests. Participated in a number of remarkably inane conversations and I left the party early in the morning considerably less intelligent than when I arrived.

Thesis is going well. Am now in contact with the daughter of the author of the diary I am studying. Am going round to her house tonight for a cup of tea and a bit of a natter. She's promised me more material so I'm really quite excited by all this. Have also conveyed to supervisor that I think this topic would make an excellent PhD.

Have just read last sentences. Feel cold all over and have sudden urge to rock myself backwards and forwards while sucking my thumb. Need to get out more often, and, in the words of my randy Great Aunt, 'get some'.