Help me

It seems that Russell Brown takes several hours to write his blog. I don't claim to have the same sort of blog as Hard News. My blog tends to be more of a rather long stream of consciousness that only takes about 10 minutes to gurgitate. So, welcome to the strange and wonderful world of my brain.

My brain is divided up into several main sections, and there is interplay between each. The largest, and, in my opinion, most important section of my brain is that devoted to the worldly pleasures. The astronomer in you will not be surprised at this as I am a Taurus. Freud called this section the id. I call it freakin awesome. This area concentrates on things like food, sex, beer, sex, candlelight dinners and redwine in front of the fireplace with someone other than me. This section is also the most under-utilised section of my brain. I know what you're thinking. 'How can the largest and most important section of your brain be the least utilised?' Simple really.

The id is patrolled and contained by the idiot. This will come as no shock to those who know me. In order for the id to be successfully utilised for the pleasures of the flesh, one has to get there first. There is no point being a Casanova without being able to charm. Charm, in fact was Casanova's greatest asset. Given that he claimed to have slept with over 20,000 women, mathematicians have calculated that he did not spend much time with each women. His charm made up for this deficiency. Although I make high and largely valid claims about my sophisticated humour and disposition, when confronted with an attractive and randy member of the opposite sex, the idiot comes into play. Take, for example, the following imaginary (but based, sadly, on fact) scenario.

Attractive member of opposite sex: You're yummy. I could eat you for lunch. Or dessert.
Dave: !?!
Amotos: Here is the key to my flat. 9.30 sound good to you? You look good to me ;)
Dave: tee hee walks away without number.
Ten minutes later
Dave: damn!

The idiot is watched by a very amused paparazzo. The paparazzo takes note and photos of the more ridiculous things Dave gets up to and hands the images across to the ultimate forces behind Dave: The cynic and the idealist. These departments fight and argue and usually wear each other out. The result is that I get tired of work and write absolute rubbish into my blog.

Go read something decent.