I am the pool boy

In my reckless pursuit of more internet crack cocaine (or 'hits' as Ben refers to them) I am going to appeal to that animal lusting that lodges somewhere deep, dark and dank inside you. That's right, people, love testing time. Done by the same people as the spark, this one will even match us up to see who would be the best matches together. It is a fun and safe way to distract Ben and Tim from that which shall not be named. It's also a safe way to hook those two up. You know you want it. Except you, Sara. Sorry.

If you take the test (take it), log back on to this site and record your personality 'type'. I am the pool boy, which means that while I enjoy 'love', I prefer crotches - but that doesn't mean I'm getting any. The False Messiah is my nemesis and he shall be smote. With a pool net.

And yes, James, McLaren is the only team worth mortgaging my soul and following through the pits of fiery hell for. Which seem to be what we're doing at the moment. What the hell are they getting Montoya in for?? They need someone calm and stable - such as Mark Webber (or even the sentimental pick of Scott Dixon). I doubt Raikkonnen and Montoya will get along.... Raikkonnen is a genuine title contender - if he even gets a car that will last to the finish. He doesn't need to be distracted by someone who is as temperamental and unprofessional as Montoya. A Webber, Dixon, Couthard or Button is required to support him and the team. I'm not advocating a system like Ferrari's where Barrichello is obviously under orders to do anything that is in the best interests of Schumi during the race. I dislike that policy. Bastardios. But you need a stable racing environment within the team in order to translate the mechanical and technical potential into race position and race points on the track. I like Montoya, I just wish he was in a Williams, Renault or BAR next year.

Give me Ron Dennis' job, I say. Bloody false messiahs.