200 Posts

Dats a'lot'a meatball.

Damn thesis.

I have in my hand, or to be more precise behind the bottle of coke (diet) that is near my left hand which is currently typing... a letter congratulating me on my awesomeness and asking for an interview.

Job = tutor type at a hall of residence.
Significance = afford to do PhD.
State of mind = oscillating between rapture and terror.

I'm not the most accomplished interviewee. I'm more like the dude in Trainspotting who goes to an interview while on speed - except I'm not the speed taking type. I'm high on the effects of the magic cauldron I was dropped in as a child. I lost a big, kick arse scholarship which would have taken care of my student loan because I couldn't help making a stupid joke.

Interviewers: Do you have any questions you'd like to ask.
Dave: Nah. I read John Grisham. I know what you like are lot.
Interviewers to each other through body language: The boy knows too much. The previous girl was much more naive/tactful. On the other hand he is kinda cute.
Dave to self through body language: damn damn damn damn damn I think they're coming on to me damn damn damn damn damn.

The interview is next week. Expect me to lose more hair and rant for longer periods of time.

Fortunately there is a bonus to this muhwahwah. I can see into the future. Which is useful although I'm not sure if I'm seeing a 6 or an 8 on the lotto ticket. While I can't see your specific futures (I'm sure you'll all end up fantastic, finish writing book/novel/thesis, see SW3, cry, find appropriate hot man/woman, get awesome job/reapply for dole, end up happy blah blah blah) I can see the wider implications of global events.

Israel: Continues to fight the Palestinians.
Palestine: Continues to fight the Israelis.
Children: Continue to die.
Iraq: US and Britain pull out citing successful elections.
Iraqis: Wondering where the elections took place.
US: Terror attack on home soil.
Russia: Terror attack on home soil.
Chechnya: Terror attack on home soil.
Australia: Terror attack on home soil.
US: Bush wins 'election'. Carter angry.
Britain: Blair wins.
Russia: Putin wins 'election'. No-one that angry (in public).
Australia: Howard wins. Strike one up for human rights.
NZ: Labour win. Brash resigns. Greens, Act, United Future (damn), National, NZ First, Maori Party all in.
Rugby: British Lions beat All Blacks.
Japan: Cautiously rearms.
Petrol: Pretty dang expensive. Damn SUVs.
Ozone hole. Shrinks. yay.