War

Sadly Corey has yet to grasp the use of comments in a blog. Which means he asserts random gibberish to the wider public without the means of the public (and by association, me) being able to respond. Luckily, I have figured a plan which will enable me to assert my will over that of Corey, and thus crush him like a small and puny fly.

Like a Palestinian stone thrower to an Israeli-American tank.

My current problem is that Corey has listed a number of 'decrees' which will be enacted and enforced when the said totalitarian dictator assumes power. There are some which defy logic - such as the banning of time and the use of Gangsta Rhyme in all Imperial decrees. Bad bad bad. What really alarms me is the 'self criticism' which I am supposed to go through once a month on live and international television. While I am flattered to think that millions would tune in to hear me chastise myself for all the bad things I have done... a) it wouldn't take very long (sarcastically speaking, I'm a very interesting guy) and b) I'm not sure what I've done to deserve this adulation. Don't get me wrong - I like it. In fact I like it so much I'm going to issue my own 'decrees' and you can add suggestions for amendments in the comments section (which I have but Corey does not).

1) Allow the UN to actually, you know, do stuff.
2) Send a manned space flight to Mars. Include GWB.
3) Reintroduce the concepts of 'accounting' and 'accountability' to big business.
4) Ban the word 'intelligence' from anything the FBI, CIA, MI5 or SAS writes.
5) Acknowledge that we are not actually living in biblical times.
6) Ban Coke/Pepsi etc. Reintroduce water as drinking substance.
7) Free Tibet, Zaoui and Education.
8) Abolish retrospective immunity.
9) Reintroduce the environment.
10) Reintroduce (and make) love.

Amend, my pretties, amend.