Damnit

Ben has figured out that I live for the hits and the comments. This could be due to his super sleuthing abilities. Or the fact that I am open about my addiction. Well, not really an addiction. More like a casual fling. I can walk away whenever I want. Self esteem not tied up with hits and feelings of rejection.

hold me.

Some things are incredibly stupid. Such as Cornelius Horan assaulting the Brazilian marathon runner.

Horan had stapled to his back the message "The Grand Prix Priest. Israel Fulfillment of Prophecy Says The Bible."

He later stated "Greece has a long tradition with Saint Paul and Alexander the Great. Christ deserves a greater honor. I am not a Jew but I love them."

Ah, yes. Alexander the Great, that famous Macedonian Christian martyr.

Horan has previously tried to convert the world by running at Formula 1 cars.

Some things make me smile. Try not to be afraid. I was talking to the daughter of the POW I'm studying. Her grandchildren are taking more of an interest (that it to say, an interest) in her Dad and family history since they heard what I'm doing. She's crediting me with that and was quite enthusiastic about it when I talked to her tonight. I'm a big fan of knowing your own history and it's pretty surreal when I find out I've influenced someone in a good (as opposed to smarmy) way. Especially when I'm just relieved/stoked they're letting me read the diaries.

Bloody thesis.

Chch

Awesome Grand Prix last night. Huge number of overtaking and crashes. Given the speed of Button's crash and the direction he took into Baumgartner, I'm surprised no-one was hurt. And Mclaren won.

pause. wipe away tear. smile.

One foolish English journalist made a rather extravagant claim about Mclaren's winning ability earlier this year. Which lead to this exchange in the post race press conference.

Q: Kimi, an English journalist said he would run naked around Silverstone if McLaren won a race this year. Will you be there?
Kimi: I think so. I definitely will go and hopefully it is raining heavily, so it will be even more fun. (laughter). Let’s hope that he will keep his word.

Am back in Chch and I swear my blood has frozen inside my veins. I got soft on the warm Blenheim sunshine which is ironic given that I hid myself indoors all the time.

Turned up at Vertigo the other morning to give Nic a ride to Varsity. Fi opened the door and glared at me. I'd interrupted her cooking some eggs. None for me, however. Nic, bless him, did get in the kitchen and cooked me some eggs. Not quite the same, although I'm not exactly sure why.

Damn this thesis.

Old people are odd. Their oddness factor can be derived from their age when one undertakes a series of complex and mindboggling calculations that usually result in me scratching my head and drawing funny little diagrams on a pad of paper. We had the mother of my de facto uncle over for dinner tonight. See is pretty cool. Situated halfway between the Yoda-Hobbit old person continuum, she had this endearing habbit of talking about what she want to talk about regardless of a) who was talking and b) what the conversation was about. I largely gave up any pretense of listening (I'd picked her up and heard all of her stories several times before we made it home, so the fifth rendition of how her cat died wasn't that interesting). I'm a cold hearted bastard. Sitting beside the aforementioned old person were my parents. Who are also old, but in more of a David Brent meets Eddy Moonsoon kind of way. And they don't realise that they are old. They exist in the world between rationality and age, where wild hippy dancing and flower power has been replaced by cringe worthy shuffling and the me generation, obsessed with stamping out those individuals who remind them of their impending mortality or denying themselves the ravages of time. Will Harrison Ford ever age?

Not in the hearts of Ben and Miche.

The thing is, old people don't realise they are old. They've fallen into the age trap in exactly the same manner we will. Or have, depending on who is reading this.

Due to the Wahine disaster still frontpage news here, I've decided to peer into the mists of time and discover what is in store for some of you. If you don't like your future it's all your fault.

NIc: After hooking up a fancy job and travelling the world meeting all the right people, Nic suffers a freak accident while turning to tie up a shoelace and breaks.

Tim: Writes and produces successful broadway musical. Tries his hand at acting and achieves moderate success opposite Vin Diesel in Star Wars vs Marvel.

Charlie: Writes thesis. No, seriously.

Michelle: Has a brief fling with comic book guy before leaving him and Principal Skinner at the altar.

Fi: Abandons academic career to follow in the footsteps of The Rock. Hunts him down and lays down the smack. Spends spare time liberating eggs.

James C: Becomes a controversial figure in US politics after it is discovered the Republicans took his ideas on how they were going to try and win the 2004 election seriously. Not popular with the Reagans.

Bush: wins. badly.

James T: Something about a girl.

Ben: often described as a "classic Welsh writer", Ben never actually learned the Welsh language himself. Though he achieved much notoriety during his short life, he received little financial gain. It was only after his death that his work truly began to be appreciated. There is no doubt, however, that he is one of the great English (language) poets of the twenty-first century, arguably the greatest poet of our time. Ben's incredible use of metaphor, meter, and a comic wit, allows his work to stand alone, balancing a reckless neo-Romantic sensuality against the more staid Puritanism of his time and culture. Ben's lust for life and love of drink may well have contributed to his premature demise, yet his work remains, a testament to both his skill and mastery of The Word. The work of Ben has been ingrained into our modern psyche in countless ways, ranging from a surprisingly stirring recital of "Please go quietly into that good night" by none other than Tim in the 2012 movie Back To School vs Marvel (in itself proof of the poet's powerfully enduring skill) to a more highbrow choral symphony based on three of his poems.

Corey: After rapidly adapting to life in a warmer climate, Corey rises through the ranks of the Yakuza. His promising criminal career is tragically cut short after crossing Mike 'the shark' Sharkie, a shadowy underworld figure.

Mike: gave up a promising English Language career to become a popular shadowy underworld figure after hearing Thom Yorke's 'Apple is a retard name'.

Me: Boasted to the wrong people that I knew the right people. Forced to eliminate people against will, I quickly learnt how to make a hit appear like a freak accident. Became Pope after the surprising College of Cardinals election tragedy. Ruled like a god among men until, tragically, I choked on poorly cooked eggs.

Great Lies I Have Told

Yes.
No.
Maybe.



Unless it gets really icy on the Kaikoura road - which I'm scared of - I'll cruise back down to Chch on Wednesday. My soccer team needs me. And I need to escape from the place which has bipassed space and time. I believe Te Rauparaha is due to attack again.

Given that I didn't expect to watch the olympics at all I've done rather well out of it. Sarah Ulmer had an awesome race. Good work to her. Have been a little pissed off with the news coverage which focuses on how many medals we've won. Winning medals is fantastic - obviously - but the react negatively to athletes who made to top 15 or 8 or whatever is pretty pathetic.

I've got nothing. Again.

US magazine Forbes has listed Prime Minister Helen Clark as No 43 on their list of the world's most powerful women.



She is found on the list between the Chair and Chief Executive of Xerox, Anne Mulcahy, ranked No 42, and Chandrika Kumaratunga, the President of Sri Lanka, on 44.


Forbes consider Clark more powerful than Oprah Winfrey (No 62), JK Rowling (No 85) and a whole host of CEOs and company chairs.


Unsurprisingly the list is topped by US National Security Adviser Condolezza Rice, followed by Wu Yi, China's vice premier, and India President Sonia Ghandi.

*ENDS*

That's from Stuff.co.nz - not my twisted imagination. It's a sad day when a Neoliberal security advisor is considered more powerful than a day time talk show host with her own cultural empire that extends even into white America.

Go the rowers! Woot. And the basketballers.

I have a statcounter on my site. It's largely an egotistical attempt for self-validation (note the irony) but it does through up some interesting facts. And creepy ones. Carrying on from my Canadian visitor looking for cannibal women to eat him or her, we have an Israeli casing the joint for free teen porn from Czechoslovakia. Sadly this will not work. Czechoslovakia no longer exists, having split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia in 1993. The fact that this is a blog will probably not help you in your quest for free teen porn.

One thing I have noticed lately is a large increase in the amount of traffic coming in from Japan. Specifically from Hiroshima and Fukushima. Hello Mike, Hayley and Corey. Clearly the dragonflies aren't that interesting. Funnily enough when I went to look at the country - statcounter has a function where the city of your connection is represented by a big red dot. My geography is way off. Hiroshima turns out to be in the middle of Korea.

Incidentally, The US is pulling out of Korea.

The olympics are cool. I didn't think they would drag me in but they have and they are good. And it looks like fun, winning a medal and all. Unfortunately you have to dedicate your life to a single thing, work insane hours, have a small social life, feel guilt whever not training and the chances of having a relationship are reduced due to work ethic and obsessive compulsive traits. Although the chances of brief and passionate affairs are increased due to the body being 'sculpted'.

Damnit.

We could, of course, change the events to better reflect the modern era. This would enable us to compete. I'm sure the 'Biggest Star Wars Geek' event would pull the crowds, but as I pretend to have a meaningful life that would end in immediate disqualification if I entered. The 'Biggest Drug Cheat' would be awarded posthumously but before the closing ceremony. Again, not my scene. Unless it was crack, but as even I am getting sick of that joke I won't state it. I could probably get something in the 'Most words spoken for nothing said' event, although I think Charlie would clean the floor with that one. The 'biggest procrastinator' award wouldn't be worth much because no-one would bother turning up. I could clean up in the 'Dig yourself a hole'. I could compete in both the sprint and long distance events. I told a couple of the law students in Debsoc about my Russel Mac scholarship interview and you could see their brains whirl as they attempted to figure out how I could be so... Dave. Hero to Zero (in interview) in 0.5 seconds. It's that kind of acceleration which could blow my opposition away.

Might need some interview tips for the Hall interview later in the year.

Ohhh women's beach volleyball. Should watch. Ma talked to me about 'asexualism' tonight, and how she thought people who were 'asexual' were actually gay. I'm sure that doesn't mean anything. I'm certainly not carefree and happy. *sigh*

bugger off.

Well, on the day most of the South Island has been lashed with water, both the frozen and dripping, our house is as dry as the proverbial desert. *damn - Italians tripped Phil Jones and it looks like they're going to win the bball* One of the taps in the bathroom played up and kept leaking. Cue me going into the garage at 2.30am to get a big red tool box in an attempt to a) look manly for my audience and b) stop the drip. By 2.35 I was standing in the bathroom with a spanner, water still continuing to splash all over the show and a big goofy grin was on my face. I didn't break anything - I didn't even try. The image of me and a spanner was too much. Like Florida, Jeb and democracy it was tempting fate. So I went to bed. Turns out Dad, while being considerably more competant than me in most areas, couldn't quite fix it so we've had to turn off the water in an attempt to avoid sinking.

*damn - lost bball. bbastards*

Apart from that, surprise surprise, I haven't really been up to much. Except work and sleep. And swashbuckling forays into the urban jungle that is Blenheim. Actually - I ended up at a secondary schools jazz competition in the local pub. Don't ask why. It was fantastic. Good beer, good music, and they had the NPC on the screen behind the students. No-one from Marlborough, all schools were from Chch and Dunedin. And the standard of Jazz was pretty damn high. Two students stood out - one bass player who played a pretty cool bass jazz song solo and a young guitar player (hot, hot Fender) was doing a pretty good Hendrix cover while maintaining a 'look, my face has no muscles' look.

Looks like another Ferrari 1-2 tonight. McLaren had a good package but went and blew the tire choice (ha!). Damnit. P10 and p12 is too far back on this track. BAR and Reanult are up there but I don't think they'll get through. Maybe the rain.

blog more. and better. do it.

DO IT.

I get some odd people visiting this site. I got a Canadian visitor who arrived at my site after finding a link from yahoo search. They'd typed in 'cannibal girls who will eat me'. Which, of course, lead to my site.

I'm not a girl. Nor will I eat you.

Interestingly it appears that I have every word in the quoted sentence above - except for 'girl'. Anyone that surprised? Certainly not mother dearest who commented a couple of nights ago that I'm going through cars faster than I have through women. It's painful when you mum starts making jokes.

Blenheim is good. It is quiet - save for the music in the background (did I tell you RH is bloody good?). They have food up here! I mean real food - like the stuff in movies, except that it was actual food and not the fake plastic props they use to make it look like food in the movies. bastards. No more cheap crap eaten on the run. At least, not for a week or so. And I can relax - which is a very odd feeling. It's, like, good.

But it is Blenheim, and there are some downsides. Such as no social life whatsoever. Less than before, even. Which is good for work. but.... At least Ben has coincided with his 'must do something... must write something... my girlfriend is a computer desk' stage with my absence. It means a) I can laugh while up here and b) I can avoid his mad descent into BBC scriptwriter (Black books on tonight!).

The mighty Aqua Marine Plastic Cups had a victory last night over the Big Kahunas (6-3), despite (or because of) the absence of their talented and skilled captain. (Me). Good work, lads. Especially Tim. Who scored.

Hmmm. Lets examine these events.
Ben attracted to computer desk.
Tim scores goal in soccer.
Something is missing. I predict something odd happening. Ball in your court, Nic.

In other exciting news... the basic points of contract law is causing controversy, Michelle is going gaga over a kitten (you go girl), and Corey has discovered that he is short in Japan.

we live in exciting times

I got a comment from someone who has looked at the electoral college in much, much greater detail than I have. It's worth copying into the main blog rather than letting it hide away in a comment - I'm assuming Ed won't mind.

*starts*You may have noticed that the notes to the graph clearly state:

Remember that after some event is in the news, it takes several days before polls taken after it are reported.Well, the day the DNC starts (the marked point on the graph), Kerry has around 288 votes. Shortly after the convention is over, Kerry spikes up, then there's a counter-spike for Bush, then it settles down -- at 307 for Kerry.

How exactly, do you interpret this as the Republicans doing well?

What they've done very well is to spin the whole question of Kerry's "convention bounce", first by raising expectations of how high it would be, and then by looking for it too soon after the convention was over.

Now that sufficient time has passed, you can see the results of the Kery bounce in (1) his increased favorables in the internals of all the polls, and (2) the fact that in 13 different polling circumstances (9 polling organizations, 5 polls involving likely voters and 8 involving registered voters) Kerry leads in 11 of the 13 and is tied with Bush in 1. In only 1 poll (the CNN/USAToday/Gallup, which was the first released after the convention), does Bush, the incumbent president, with all the advantages that brings, lead, and then by only 4 points, while Kerry's leads average almost 5 1/2 (5.42).

This is a bounce. It may not last long, but it most assuredly is a convention bounce, and it just amazes me that the "bounce boat" having apparently sailed too soon, very few in the media are paying attention.

In any event, for those interested, I've posted my latest survey of Electoral College tracking / prediction / projection / forecast sites here (http://unfutz.blogspot.com/2004/08/electoral-college-survey-87.html).

Executive summary: of the 30 sites surveyed, 22 show Kerry winning, and 5 others show him ahead. Three sites show Bush winning. The approximate average of all sites is Kerry 296 - Bush 242.

And, just to note it, this is a distinct improvement over his standing in the survey I took just before the convention (http://unfutz.blogspot.com/2004/08/electoral-college-survey-81.html). *ends*

You'll have to forgive the lack of tags that were in the original message. I'm typing this on Safari (the browser, not an adventure) and Blogger doesn't provide the easy buttons on the control panel - and I'm no computer geek.

Ed clearly has a much better understanding of the whole system than I do. However, I think I should clarify my position. I wrote that entry a few days after the end of the DNC. When I checked the graph, the Republican had surged about 50 electoral college votes. Given the spin the Republicans have put on the bounce - spin which has entered the mainstream discussion and consciousness - I thinik this can be seen as doing rather well. Since that entry was written Kerry has recovered to 307.

You have to bear in mind I am extremely cynical over the whole election. I'm probably looking at polls, graph, spin and events with an overly unhealthy degree of cynicism. I want Kerry to win the election AND the presidency. But I doubt he will. Remember the cynical prediction one of us made this year/last year? 1) Regan dying. 2) Important figure being captured around DNC. 3) Attack on US soil before election. Draw your own conclusions, but Florida should have taught us all what we can expect in this era of Neoliberalism.

This is one of the only times I've wanted to be wrong. Anyway, visit Ed's site. Pretty damn interesting.

I'm in Blenheim. Surprise. And if I may, just for a short while, dispense with the pretense of my online charachter and be unusually honest - this is good. I needed to get away from Christchurch. Too much routine and surliness. Too much tension - the stress wasn't the problem - I like the stess. I think the main problem was I couldn't go home or go anywhere and relax. And I'm a big fan of smiling internally (internal sunshine?). Too many percieved ghosts in chch. Ghosts avoid Blenheim... which is rather ironic if you know the grizzly details of my hidden past. I wouldn't call it a fake plastic life, but I did bust through the ceiling and turned and ran. The open sensuality of the road is always smile-worthy. As are beer and parents.


Not that I'm running from the work. Will be working full on up here. Which will be fun. Geek, I know. Nerd, I deny. I have the essentials. Work. Computer. xbox. guitar. radiohead. hmmm. someone I harrassed a lot about radiohead will be laughing to themselves when they find out about this current rabid love.

Should be a good week or two. But I still intend to live vicariously through you lot. So blog, damnit. Or email with stuff you might not want to blog.

ps. clearly not going to be able to make coffee, soccer, or running late night chocolate missions for the endorphin starved students of chch. Apologies. Now blog.

Mean Machine

We were supposed to have an interfaculty soccer competition today. The Arts faculty (that is me, two history phd candidates and a bunch of non-uni people who were going to pretend to be from the Arts) turned up. As did about 15 other people from various faculties. Not such a tournament, then. Dave Miller did not turn up as he was drunk in Lincoln. I don't think we want to know why. We organised a fun game in the very slippery mud. I was fortunate enough to have shoes with sprigs. This meant I could 'run' and turn around, remain upright and not end up with my face in the mud. In theory, anyway. Sadly I'm much more fat and unfit than I was when I played properly. I blame my mid-late-early twenties. It's all downhill. Other people who could, in practice, run found themselves struggling in the conditions. Take Tim for instance. Tim is big. He is a very good defender when he can run. When he tries to run, arms and legs flailing, goes nowhere and then falls on his arse, he is a very good comedian. The same can be said for pretty much everyone who played on our team. The other team was much better but only won 5-2 because we enlisted the services of a 12 year old wonder kid. Adam scored a good goal. I scored two and set one up, but the goal I set up was for them and I also scored one of theirs. Munter.

Also, Nic is supposedly producing a cd. This might happen. One day. If he doesn't break his ankle/finger/knee/nail. Frankly, get all the songs of the bends, shove them on a cd and you've got yourself a winner. so good. so very very good.

Regenerating Bush

Because I'm not very original, I steal stuff from people who are. It's the highest form of compliment. And plagiarism.... Anyway, it appears that the Republicans have done rather well out of the who DNC. The link goes to a graph which plots the electoral college votes - which, as we all remember, do not necessarily equate to the democratic (no pun intended) votes - and therefore is a much better predictor than opinion polls.

This recent Republican surge could be due to the number of terror alerts following on from the DNC. Or their policy of targeting the Amish. Then again, the Amish don't have phones so I'm not sure how they'll be polled....

Bush will win.

Revenge of the Sith will be decidedly average.

Ben will get a job.

I calls it as I sees it.

WTF!

Button signed with Williams! Didn't see that coming. No-one saw that coming. Especially Dave Richards (head of BAR) who shafted Villeneuve to get Button up to number one. Ha! Sweet, poetic justice. Gotta love F1. Soap opera for men. And intelligent women.

Bring back JV.

the bends

Where have I been all my life? I've recently discovered Radiohead. They are good. Do try them.

Had I said that TEN YEARS AGO I might have maintained a little bit of cred. However, I come from a land where the Spice Girls are still considered 'musicians'. That's my story and I'm sticking too it, damnit. While I did have, and enjoyed immensely, OK Computer, I've only recently laid my hands on the bends, amnesiac and Hail to the Thief. Amnesiac is good. Very good. Hail is superb - for some reason A punchup at a wedding makes me think of the storm sequence in Lear. Odd. But good. *Am re-evaluating understanding and memory of Lear*

The Bends, however, ohhh. better than crack. better than smack.

I still don't really like Kid A. Everything has a resonant frequency. Kid A taps into mine and makes me very, very angry. Go figure. One RH fanatic told me it's because I don't understand the music. it's all about the music. There is an element of truth in that - but I think a more rational explanation is that my brain is telling me to get away from the music before I, you know, shatter.

Damnit

The Man has caught up with me. This ain't good, baby. Thought I'd managed to slide under his radar but just when I thought I could see white light, an escape and a life of relative normality *BANG* The Man shafts me with his Man Stick. Might leave this joint now. To where? I'm not sure. Probably either Mexico or the Sounds. I like the hombres. Not Norway. For how long? Perhaps for good. Perhaps for a week or two. I don't know. When will I leave? I don't know? When will I stop talking like a git and restart the rewriting? I don't know.

Bah.

Special Prize

The next person who tells me that a)I look like crap or b)that I need to get more sleep will win a special prize courtesy some fictional mobsters I pretend to know because I only have one joke and not much of an imagination. 2 hours average is fine for thesis student. There is quite a positive upside to not sleeping much. Uni is nice, quiet, and solitary in the morning and we have some very cheerful cleaners who have taken quite a shining to me. God knows why. Reccomend the cooked breakfast at UCSA. The downside, other than perpetual surliness, is I slept through Sunday, causing concerned flatmates to brave my room in order to determine whether I was still, you know, alive. Thanks.

The above goes for the next person who tells me to run for President of the UCSA. Do I strike you as an ego-centric, arrogant tosser who is only interested in hogging the spotlight and talking about me me me me me.... Don't answer that. Still not running.

Currently writing 6 month report in order to ensure I'm not denying the holocaust happened. Damn Hayward.

Procrastination

Is not necessarily a good thing but it certainly is more enjoyable than working for the Man. Instead, I have decided to become The Man and rule a nation. Work, citizens. Heh. Apparently there has already been a nation called TBALC, so either there is a parallel bunch of educated slackers out there or someone has a better grasp of procrastination than me.

Damn 6 months reports.

Hamish call your Mother

I don't know Hamish, but apparently he is in Prague. His parents do not know this and have put out an international missing person's report. My bet is that he crossed one Charlina too many and now swims with the fishes, indicating that I am an incredibly poor gambler.

Artificial light is everywhere at the moment. Fluorescent lightbulbs, computers, heaters, false prophets etc are all blindingly bright. But not warm at all, damnit. In two weeks I've gone from leaving Uni at 3.30am to arriving at uni at 3.30am. Not a very bright lad, but such a trooper.

Am looking out for the advertisements that will ask me to tutor at a hall next year. That will be good. Free food, accommodation, warmth and fat fat internet cable. ohhh baby.

In between bouts of work and sleep I've seen some interesting things on the box. Not interesting in an educational manner - just... odd. For example, late night on Fox News (and Friends) I heard the following exchange:
Ben Stiller look alike: The markets are waiting to see what will happen in November. They're afraid of Kerry. Kerry is a socialist.
Other guy: You can't call Kerry a socialist! That's un-American.

Kerry is a socialist? He's going to repeal the tax cuts Bush gave to the richest 2% and keep the rest of the tax cuts in place. That's not going to do anything to save Medicare, education or the elderly. It does sound good, because the richest 2% wouldn't vote for him anyway. Most countries would probably align Kerry as being centre or even centre right. He's liberal on some social issues, but his affirmation of Bush's tax cuts and plan to increase the military are certainly right wing. I am a little astounded to hear him being labeled alongside Castro as 'socialist'. Has political commentary in the US sunk so low that political names are thrown at each other irrespective of factual accuracy?

To call that comment un-American is almost as jaw-droppingly surreal as the socialist comment itself. I'm not sure if anyone outside the US knows what 'American' means anymore - we all have our own ideas based on our perceptions, optimism and cynicism. I thought 'America' was symbolic of freedom and liberty at one time and presumed that was how they saw themselves today. But to say that calling Kerry socialist is un-American - that goes against that presumption.

Calling the Kerry a girlie-man is ok, however. Fantastic. We can now study the Eastern bloc through homophobic cliches and bigotry.

And finally I saw the answer to the age old question 'what would happen if the world's biggest rubber band ball was dropped out of an airplane a mile above the earth. A helicopter crashed into power lines during the filming. Cue interviews with crew. Being scientific and all, the team at Ripley's simulated the experiment with a big drum filled with water (to give it rubbery properties) and pushed that out of the plane. It hit the ground and went bang. Questions were asked. Would the rubber band ball go bang? Or crater? Or explode? Viewers were left what would happen if the presenter fell out of the plane. Given her qualifications, one can only presume that she would float gently to the ground before flashing her eyes and opening her mouth at the camera to indicate that she was either a) surprised b)excited or c)a goldfish. 17 cameras were located in 17 different areas (we only saw footage from 2). They pushed the ball out of the plane. It fell to the ground. Presenter was surprised and excited. It hit the ground at 400mph, created a crator, bounced and exploded. Presenters qualifications bounced also. Good. Kerry could nationalise them, if they haven't been so already.