Science of shopping

They say that when women go shopping and find an item of clothing or a toaster on sale, endorphins are released into their system. Endorphins are also released into their system when they have sex. Incidentally, endorphins are also released into the system of the male when they have sex. Apparently men do not get the same pleasure from shopping - this is backed up by my own experience.

I could understand it if women got endorphins because of anticipated sexual activity. But I am not aware of toasters leading to anything other than toast or the occasional golden crumpet. Ironic that a toaster would get a bit of crumpet.

Given the women get sexual pleasure from a non-sexual activity, it is only fair that men also get sexual pleasure from a non-sexual activity. So far my research has proved inconclusive. I would like to clarify that the rucks and mauls of rugby do not give me the same reaction as metaphorically and hypothetically similar encounters with attractive members of the opposite sex.

Perhaps the only semi-logical thing I've learnt from all this is that when I grow up I want to be an endorphin.

I've been taking those personality tests etc on tickle.com in order to further my studies into not studying. Apparently my theme song is Bad to the Bone, I'm an extrovert who likes to be the centre of attention (look at me look at me look at meeee) and I'm the type of guy that every girl secretly wants, and if I were a dog I'd be a Chihuahua. Hmm, so far so accurate. Then I did the 'what's your fantasy island holiday' test which turned out to be... New Zealand.

That's right. The next time I want to get away from the stress and hassle of procrastination and study, of the hustle and bustle of the city life, when I want to get away to where no one knows my name or gets my jokes I... stay exactly where I am. I don't think that is very fair. I want to go to Paris and have a crossant in bed with a hot French chick, go check out the local jazz bars in New York, get chased by angry farmers in Zimbabwe or head hunted by the local yokels of South-West Texas. I don't want to find my exotic holiday in Darfield or Hokitika or Turangawaewae. That's not part of the fantasy.

I can't help but laugh, however, whenever you reach the end of the test and they ask you whether you want to join the U.S. military. That might be scary, it is also very amusing.

Had pizza at the pizzeria above the Honeypot last night with Tim, Sara, Will and Emma. The food was very good and the service was completely mad. Company was good, although apparently I'm a mean, uptight wanker. Who knew? All in all much goodness and you should go there if you like pizza, although apparently it's not quite as good as Winnebagoes.

Where Dave proves his masculinity by devolving intellectually

Rugby can be an absolutely fantastic game. It can also be dangerous, angry and boring to watch but I'm not really going to worry about this. It is good.

There are a number of reasons for this blanket statement. I choose to ignore most of them and settle on the only one I can be bothered talking about. Firstly, it provides 'men' (and an increasing number of women) to exhibit signs of traditional masculinity. Such as violence, immunity to pain or common sense and cheating without getting caught. Manland never used to be a nice place to be - no-one talked about their emotions or how they yearned to be 'unzipped from the inside' (Damn you Dr. Phil!). Now we have to talk about how we 'feel' and what we 'want' and look at developing 'communication lines' between adversaries. Such as man and woman.

The rugby field allows us to get away from the intellectualisation of the modern world. We lose our more savvy elements as blood gets diverted from both the brain and the penis to heal our welts or spurt out in fantastic quantities when someone's sprig punctures our aorta. Case in point - during the game today our halfback dislocated his shoulder but came back on and played as a loose forward while he still had a dislocated shoulder!

We could have won had the forwards and backs done anything resembling their jobs today. But I'm happy in the knowledge that my cuts and bruises and resprained thumb symbolize that animal masculinity you can detect just below the surface of Dave.

Astonishing

You heard it here first, folks. While Davis and I both thought he had a serious gambling problem (think thesis, people) it turns out that he actually gained money through Roulette and ended up slightly up. Of course, that is not taking into account that he did not record all his gambling adventures (he does record that piece of info, luckily) - but nevertheless this is quite remarkable and has my jaw on permanent loan to the floor.

As you may have figured out, I've been going through the diary counting beans. Beans, of course, being a nutritious and varied currency.

Nic is claiming that he and I are the same. That is, frankly, missing the point of being nemisi. I use my powers for good and the suppression of Star Wars fans. Although permit me to giggle at Fi for not seeing the 'Luke I am your Father' scenes. teeheehee. Nic uses his powers for bad and while that may result in the odd 'seduction', I eat seduction for breakfast.

Unfortunately I don't eat 'predicting F1 results accurately' for breakfast and Monaco cost me dearly. Who would have thought Schumi would have crashed? Would would have picked Alonso (you stupid stupid man) to overtake in the tunnel of death? Who would have thought Coulthard would not have finished... yeah well, I was being optimistic. But my top 3 didn't finish and I'm not out of the top 10% of newsonf1.com's competition and second in the TBALC competition behind Tim Mc. Who is 12th overall.

And finally, look here people. Ben has blogged several times lately! As has Nic.

Help me, Obi Wan

Due to the joys of procrastination, I've discovered that I would be Obi Wan Kenobi if I were a star wars person. Why? Because the Force has a wonderfully ironic sense of humour. That's why it got George Lucas to come back and write some dreadful dribble in the prequels. Bastard.

Take the test. Record how you did. Given that Nic is my nemesis, I'm expecting him to cut me down and allow me to grow stronger in death than I am in life.

Yet people like this series....

Bite, Ben, bite.

Bad Joke Good Joke

This site allows you to manipulate a photo of an American soldier standing with two Iraqi kids and a sign. Mike has used his dazzling wit to come up with a couple that I will not repeat here.

The best I could come up with was this lame attempt.

There are a couple of stories circulating about the authenticity of the original photo. This site gives a reasonable summary of what has been going on around it.

Computers these days are pretty impressive.

Disclaimer and Goodness

This is a disclaimer to those who might get offended by the latest round of 'experiments' are going to take place in the U.S. now-ish. I'm especially talking about those people who are trying to finish up their Masters soon and don't want another reason to get angry at the Bush administration. Don't go here.

Other people can and will probably react with the same response that I did. Probably not as bad as I'm thinking... right?

In other and better news, won debating tonight *huzzah* although did not debate outstandingly well. And had first rugby practice tonight - am no-where near as fit as I thought I was (which wasn't that high to begin with). Tackling people takes it out of you. Mental note - get a girlfriend.

For those groupies who want to watch me get the bejezzus knocked out of me out of compassion or enjoyment (good stress relief) I'm playing my first game this Saturday, 1PM on Ilam fields. Huzzah.

And talked to supervisor today who is quite enthusiastic about my thesis. Am confused but happy. For those of you who attended the seminar I gave on coping mechanisms the other day, that's what he's happy about.

Bonsai.

Just once I would like to get to university at a reasonable hour. Conversely I would like to leave university at a reasonable hour, go to bed at a reasonable hour and (most importantly of all) get to sleep at a reasonable hour. It is all so very unreasonable.

Si is in New York - Cultural capital of the 20th century western world. It has provided the setting for such classics as 'New York, New York', 'Seinfeld', 'Friends' and 'Two planes crashing into two buildings' (not a favourite). Also has the UN and lots of jazz. Consequently I am a little envious. But I understand the possibilities that Si in New York offers us a a group of young, curious thinkers. For example - how fat is the US diet? Si has been given instructions to get fat, and fat he shall become. Or not, depending on the outcomes of this guinea-pig/Si experiment. Sorry, Des.

Bloody webmail. Bloody Steve Thomas.

Undeleted voting trickery

No, this is not some sort of high brow, fancy political thought. If you're after that go here. What I'm after are hits. Or, as it's know in white, downtown E(for internet)-street, crack cocaine. Crack is like a drug to me. Ben knows this. He blogged about it and complained that I was like some sort of cheap ratings whore. That's unfair. I'm more like a cheap ratings groupie. Ben hasn't been able to complain much lately though. Through a combination of over-the-counter medications mixed to exactly the right combination, cask wine and post-traumatic thesis disorder Ben mistakenly took himself for the bastard love child of Dean Martin and the Easter Bunny. As his paws can't type good his blog has fallen into a state of disarray. Which has provided me with something to talk about.

I digress.

People from random countries (India, United States, Canada) have been checking out this site after yahoo-ing the Nick Berg execution tapes. I don't have them and I don't plan on watching them. But my sick and twisted *crack* mind thought of a way to get more *crack* hits. By posting some famous names, people might read my site and make that little counter go round faster and faster.

I'm alive.

So... Osama bin Laden and George W Bush in Fahrenheit 9/11 with Michael Moore. The French go to war in Iraq over Tony Blair, Spain invades David Beckham's home country of XXX hot porn barely legal teens and make yourself 30% bigger or your money back.

Colonial

My plan to colonize the rest of the world is coming along nicely. Readers of this frivolous and influential blog are a beautiful mix of cosmopolitan (New York, Los Angeles) to the rural (Invercargill) and the exotic (India and Taiwan, 'Province of China').

But don't fear my wrath, groupies. I'm still the same bloke who started this blog with ambitious and unrealistic plans at the start of the year. Instead, fear Tim, who is big and hairy. Not Michelle, who is not tall and not hairy and not in the country.

I spent $13 on going to see Troy when I could have read a better script here for free. Make like Starsky and DO IT.

Ben had not updated his blog for a long time. It is appropriate, I feel, that we use peer pressure to make him do what we want him to do. Ergo, Ben, write in the blog.

And get Fi to cook me some eggs.

Computer Gender

A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns are designated as masculine or feminine.
"House" in French, is feminine – "la maison"
"Pencil" in French, is masculine – "le crayon"
One puzzled student asked, "What gender is a computer?"
The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups, by gender, and asked them to decide whether “computer” should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computer should definitely be feminine (“la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you find yourself spending half your pay on accessories for it.

The women's group concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer") because:
1. To get them to do anything you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but most the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited longer, you could have got a better model.

The women won.

Violation

Check out this link. Scroll down to 'Let me eat cake' and read the description of the page. Someone visited my site from this link - so I checked it out because I thought it was interesting. Check out what the site has me quoted as saying... I never wrote anything like that... kinda creepy.

I would like to reaffirm to everyone that I am not an extremist or terrorist or approve of cutting peoples heads off.

UPDATE! Apparently I did write those words. The problem is yahoo connected my blog on the execution of Berg with the copy of the Osama joke I pasted onto my blog. The result did not look good.

Sociology

By changing blogs I lost my links and my webcounter. While I have not reinstalled my links I have put in a new and better webcounter which tracks where you are from and what your credit card details are. Most people reading this blog, surprise surprise, are from either New Zealand or Australia and I can guess who most/both of them are. I have had visitors, however, from the United States and Austria. Awesome. The Austrian visitor(s) confused me slightly but I think one of the lost boys of TBALC is somewhere in the vicinity. No-one from the UK has checked in which suggests that Charlie's is too busy chasing Holly, and Dan too busy chasing Charlie.

Am giving a seminar on Friday on the coping mechanisms Davis used within his prisoner of war experience at Spangenburg. Am excited despite the fact I realise I am revealing the true extent and nature of my geekness. I'm not going to be asleep when the revolution comes.

Actually, if it starts in the morning I probably will be. grr.

Dagnamit Ben, post a blog.

ps spellchecker wanted to replace 'geekness' with 'sexiness'. Am taking a liking to this computer.

Working Man

I worked yesterday. For money, and not on the street. The street (not to be confused with the Street) probably wouldn't pay $12 an hour. I got to stand around and give people reasons to come to the Faculty of Arts next year. While it was dull, there were some good looking girls there and I got paid, so it's all good. Came to the conclusion that working for money is far better than borrowing it.

The Monaco GP looks to be quite interesting. Or, rather, as interesting as a Monaco GP can possibly ever become. While M.S. will undoubtedly pick up a record 6th straight win, McLaren has actually looked very good in testing at the Paul Ricard circuit. They did better that Williams and BAR (Ferrari didn't test) overall. I nearly smiled. DC enjoys this track a lot, and I think Raikonnen could do well. Montoya will probably crash - while he won there last year he seems angrier this year and that won't help his chances. If Button qualifies well he'll do well, but I wouldn't say the same about Sato. Too inconsistent. Renault could do very well with their starts and their ability to maintain grip with their tyres well into the race. Ergo - my picks are M.S, Alonso, DC. Very bold and I expect Quix to extend his lead over me in the TBALC fantasy F1 challenge.

Shakespeare

There are a number of very good things about Shakespeare. His language and use of imagery is brilliant. But what is particularly fantastic about Shakespeare is that he could relate to his audience and allow them to feel an empathy for his characters. Iago and Macbeth might be truly nasty characters, but the audience at least knows where they are coming from. Arguably, this is because Shakespeare uses situations that arise in everyday life and emotions we can all relate to. The bad thing about life, sometimes, is that it can resemble a Shakespearean tragedy.

Take the execution of Nicholas Berg. Young man goes to Iraq after spending time helping the poor in Africa. Wants to help rebuild the place and believes his experience in communications equipment can help. Cannot find work but is arrested by Iraqi police and detained for 13 days. Berg is released the day after his family sue Donald Rumsfeld. Between leaving custody and Iraq for the US, Berg is kidnapped by Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, a man who is also trying to rebuild Iraq by getting rid of the 'American infidel'. Berg is executed by al-Zarqawi in retaliation for the atrocities committed at Abu Ghraib prison by American soldiers who were trying to rebuild Iraq by eliminating the terrorists.

Damn irony.

The problem with life resembling Shakespearean tragedy is that it is often difficult to tell whether life is a comedy of errors or a tragedy until you have the benefit of hindsight.

I guess that's what makes it interesting.

Bloody CNN. They've attempted to do a brief history of the Geneva Conventions relative to the treatment of prisoners of war. The problem is that they don't know what they are talking about. And me being the angsty me that I am and can be, I'm going to inflict law talk on you froma history student. (Fi, get a blog so you don't have to go to anymore cooperate tax seminars).

There is no one Geneva Convention. There are several, and they have long names such as the Geneva Convention relative to the treatment of prisoners of war. They were first signed in 1929, after the Hague Conventions of 1908 were shown to be out of date - they didn't look the navy or air crew. The 1929 Geneva Conventions also spelt out the rights of civilians. While they have been updated slightly in 1949 (when people realized something had gone pretty badly wrong in WWII) and 1977, the conventions for prisoners of war remain largely unchanged since 1908 and 1929.

The thing is - the Geneva Conventions relative to the treatment of prisoners of war do not apply to the detainees in Abu Ghraib prison. Why? Well, in order to be classified as a prisoner you have to bear arms, be fighting for a state or nation, and be easily identifiable due to a badge or insignia. Guerilla fighters are not considered to be prisoners of war. Neither, supposedly, can terrorists. Civilians, such as those arrested because of a perceived threat (ie if you are male and aged between 16 and 45), can not be considered to be prisoners of war either. They are protected under different conventions (such as the Geneva Convention relative to the protection of civilians in time of war)

I want to make it perfectly clear that I do not support the concept of 'Enemy Combatants'.

I think that there are two main problems. Firstly, people don't really know what they are talking about. If the prisoners in Abu Ghraib prison are not soldiers or POWs, then they are civilians and we should refer to them as such. They should be protected as such. We need to have an alert, aware media that is capable of doing its job.

Secondly, the Geneva Conventions are out of date. They have been out of date for a long time, but in the current climate of pre-emptive terror the anachronisms and paradox's within the conventions are unacceptably dangerous. We cannot have a concept of 'enemy combatants' which denies basic human rights. We cannot have a situation which allows for individuals to slip between the cracks of 'prisoner of war' and 'civilian' status.

What we really need is a code of conduct for soldiers in a time of war.

This, of course, will never happen. We would need the support of the only superpower in the world, and the chance of that happening in this situation are very, very small.

For those that might be interested, the Four different Geneva Conventions are:
Geneva Convention (I) for the Amelioration of the Condition of the Wounded and Sick in Armed Forces in the Field
Geneva Convention (II) for the Amelioration of the Condition of Wounded, Sick and Shipwrecked Members of Armed Forces at Sea
Convention (III) Relative to the Treatment of Prisoners of War
Convention (IV) Relative to the Protection of Civilian Persons in Time of War

They want ME to pay?

I thought I might have a look at entering the US green card lottery. I am eligible - being educated and all. It would make traveling and working there much easier, and I wouldn't have to put up with those nasty security checks they put out for the undesirables. What can I say? I have shifty eyes.

Make way, coming through, I'm a citizen.

Well, no. I'm not and I'm not going to enter the lottery. Why? Because you have to pay to enter. For some bizarre reason my mind chose to ignore that 'lottery' usually means some form of extortion.

I find it almost offensive that they want me to pay for the chance to get a green card. So I'm going to set up a new system. Countries pay for me to get a green card, and I reward them with me. It'll be awesome. Everyone wins. I get money and access - they get me.

Due to my policy of adopting other people's achievements as my own, I've certainly lived a long and prosperous life. Not only have I conquered Everest, ruled Checkoslovakia with and iron fist, walked on the moon and been assassinated by an angry angry actor, I'm also widely respected as Eros, the Greek God of Love. And I'm not even 23! Who wouldn't want that sort of model citizen?

Speaking of the Greeks - they are awesome. They based mathematical formula (as we do today) around the concept of pi. I think it is fantastic that a complex mathematical concept (unless you're in the Southern US where they want to make pi 3 so it's easier to multiply) around a tasty and nutritious food group.

My god do I need a life.

Danger

I'm not entirely convinced by this new template. No links and apparently I've posted 110 posts - which is 20 more than what I had earlier today (apparently). Some bugs in the system, I suppose.

Anyway - interesting and disturbing thought for the day. We know that human rights are something that apply to all humans. They don't apply to animals. The problem comes when people do not consider people to be human. Classic example - American Declaration of Independence which notes that all men are created equal. Which is utterly brilliant. However at the time black men were not considered to be men, and slavery could continue without the apparent contradiction.

With regard to the photos coming out of the Iraqi prisons - are the detainees considered to be human? Or perhaps, as others have suggested, it is merely the jailer/prisoners psyc experiment on a bigger scale?

Lame Joke
I'm feeling exceedingly tired. Ergo I'm going to cheat on this one and post a lame joke. Hope you enjoy the new look blog. I've lost my comments and bean counter (the hits the hits!!) but there were over 3000 so I'm satiated. Will fix later.

FROM: Bin Laden, Osama. TO: All Al Qaeda Fighters.

SUBJECT: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've
really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns: First of all: While it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster - have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the Halal toaster/griller).

Second: It's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm
tryin to scare the hell out of most of the world's population, okay? That
means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wasssuuup' thing. Thanks.

Third: Food. I bought a box of Bega cheese recently, clearly wrote
"Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf of the fridge. Today, two of my Bega slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must
distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. And Please - do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy. Oii Oii Oii" when I ride past on the donkey.
Thanks.

Fifth: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F**** DONKEYS" on the group
toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Sixth: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old
excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkey's there is a grey area).

Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soliders in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.

PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.

Mercedes

I'm not talking about that computer animated slapper in GTA Vice City, but rather the engine manufacturing slapper that does not know how to make engines. As a result McLaren have as much chance of challenging Ferrari, Williams and *sob* BAR this year as I have of scoring.

Look at Kimi Raikkonen's comments after Friday's second practice.

Kimi Raikkonen, McLaren (9th, 1m 16.798s):
"Everything was going according to plan until the end of the second session when I felt something was wrong with the car. The team told me to stop immediately and switch everything off which I did and parked the car on the outside of turn three. However, we did manage to get through our tyre evaluation programme and I'm reasonable happy with the car."

This is ridiculous. I'm assuming that if he didn't stop and switch everything off his engine would have exploded. Why? Well, that usually happens at least once each weekend for McLaren these days. And if a team has to replace an engine they have to start down the back of the grid. Which means we don't really know how well the cars could do if they were racing properly. I doubt they'd be able to take on Ferrari, BAR or Williams, but they might be able to tackle Renault. Actually, that's what Coulthard did at San Marino last fortnight and had to get his nose replaced - hmmm. McLaren suck.

In other news - see Van Heising . It is good and has some absolutely classic lines which I won't repeat here. Far, far better than Starsky and Hutch (despite the fact that it doesn't have Owen Wilson). But it does have Kate Beckinsale. And Hugh Jackman if you prefer men.

Thesis

I have set a date to submit. I know I said that I wouldn't, but I have and if anyone does not like that then they will have to take it up with the man. Who, for all intensive purposes. is clearly Bill/David Carradine who is officially 'The Man' for his role in Kill Bill 2. Everyone must see this film. It is very very good, according to me. Completely different to the first film (which I also thought was very very good - despite gratuitous violence). Which led to Mark and Tim enjoying it, as did Nic - although he preferred Kill Bill 1 because he is a violent, angry man (he can refute that if he ever blogs again). Personally, I don't think you can compare the two films. Too different.

David Carradine won't get best supporting actor, but he should.

Anyway... the date set for the thesis submission is 1 August.

Freedom or bust. Or, I would prefer, busty freedom. Hoo ha!

Gmail

I have one invitation to send to someone who wants to try out Gmail. Yell out if you want it. I could always put it up for auction on eBay for $200 or something, as some people have apparently done. But if you are Bill Gates I'll give it to you in exchange for stock options or your daughter.

The Simpsons quote system clearly failed miserably. As did my ankle last night after only 8 seconds of indoor soccer. Some primitive chimp took me out when I was not really anywhere near the ball. Sprained ankle. Like the true munter you have come to know and tolerate I played the second half and managed to get my own back on the Neanderthal in question by using my shoulder to fling him to the ground. All perfectly legal. He cried like a little girl.

Mmmm. Violence.

15,000 protestors outside parliament the other day. Big rally in Christchurch in the next couple of days against racism, and the counter rally by the local national front (I really can't speak highly of these little, angry wimpish, pathetic, microscopically small, intellectually challenged, spinally weak, munterish, amateurish, fuckwitery, fu...) in favour of racism. Once upon a time it was the students who would take to the streets and protest about stuff. Now being outdone by the old people. Then again, National's plan to dilute the Nuclear legislation could lead to us hitting the pavement once more.

Mmmm. Peaceful Violence.

Validation through Attention

Following on from Ben's movie quote list, I'm setting up a Simpsons quote list. And, in order to get some semblance of order and control over this - let's see if we can get a quote from most of the characters. If you have more than one quote, but one down and then try to wait for someone else to post something. I don't want to get every imaginable Simpson quote in the first two posts by Ben and Tim.

DO IT.

Inter-moronic thesis

Having looked at my computer screen today I have discovered a number of things that I do not recall writing. Some of them are very very good and I would like to thank the little elves for making it so. Your cute little slippers and sweatshirts are currently being manufactured by some sweatshop labourers in some poor country that I don't really care about.

Ahh, thesis. Supporting the downtrodding since 2003.

I also came across the term 'inter-personal relationships'. I hereby forfeit my right to life. There is a very good reason (several, actually) why this action is called for.
1) 'inter-personal relationship' is a very stupid term. Relationships are, by definition, between two or more people or things. I've never heard of and outer-personal relationship.
2) Ergo, I'm a thickee. We've already got enough of them in Management etc where they talk about ridiculous stuff like 'interpersonal relationships' and how best to work on 'focus goals'. *pfft* goals. We need to cull them. I propose a holy crusade - a jihad, if you will. That'll teach them. And me.

Apologies to Si. I'm not sure whether you are a manager or an owner or what. Just in case I've put you on the list. God will know his own.